Part 5
Part 4
Part 3
Part 2
Part 1
Meanwhile, after the romantic interlude…
Sanders doesn’t live under his name but with it and the
constant questions of why, well…why Greg? You can’t get more boring than that
or add in your own least favourite name. Sanders lives up 39 steep steps,
always wheezing, reaching the top, meaning to stop smoking four or five times
everyday. Being a security guard doesn’t help, time standing round in the dark,
liking the glowing red after a puff and the smoke being dragged down his
throat.
Today, when the summit is reached he sits in his chair in
front of the computer and reads the ODT for light relief and all the stories
that don’t matter, like motorists being harassed by dwarves in security
uniforms.
What’s that about? Groups of unemployed dwarves left
destitute after the end of the Hobbit’s filming wreaking revenge on Peter
Jackson’s former countrymen? Or an underground race of dwarves predating the
Maori’s arrival and finally coming out to reclaim their land? Or some
fetishistic dwarves deciding to show everyone that little people can dress up
in uniforms as well; at least they haven’t started sodomising anyone yet.
Sanders emailed the link to Hawthorn with the message,
‘you’ll like this and they had their own stepladder’.
What if the story was real though? Security
dwarves sweeping the south looking for, well… something. Sanders had a well developed
sense of paranoia, nurtured by experience and a lifetime of mistrust of
authority. A list of the culprits is available on request but it includes the
Catholic church, schools and all previous and current employers. But even so, it
seemed unlikely. Apart from anything else, such as why bother, people notice things like that and complain. The only answer was it had to be some sort of stunt to advertise something.
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