The universe wants to play with you (20)

After Hawthorn left, Sanders decided it was time for sleep as he was working at 10.

He woke up at 8 and, first things first, went outside on the front deck for a smoke. Luckily, it was hidden by trees from the neighbours so no-one could see his spunk stained boxers or his rather neat Zappa t-shirt.
Sitting down, he thought he head a faint voice; he listened, couldn't hear anything but then heard something like a croaky whisper, 'Oi fuckface, are you ignoring me?'

Sanders jumped and looked around; there was no one there but the voice came again, 'That worked. Over here'.
What the fuck-no-one there-I'm going mad. 'Down here dog breath'. Leaning over the railing, all he could see was leaves and...a hedgehog.
'That took fucking forever Einstein. You humans are really thick. Some more than others, of course.'
I'm hallucinating. I'm being talked to by a foul mouthed hedgehog with a northern English accent.
'You missed out the word 'telepathic'. Look, I'm in a hurry, well as much as a hedgehog can hurry, but I am. I'd tell you my name but you couldn't pronounce it so you can call me Jimmy'.
'Hello Jimmy. Who are you?'
'I'm a fucking hedgehog obviously.
'But you're talking'.
'Of course, I'm fucking talking. You humans really are stupid and you drive too fast. You need to listen to me because it's important. Some people have guardian angels and stuff, apparently, but you can see me as your guardian hedgehog'.
Sanders laughed.
'It's not funny.'
'Yes, it is. How can you guard anything when you're small and squishy'?
A searing pain hit Sanders between the eyes.
'You're not laughing now, are you? Anyway, I'll continue. I've been watching you for a long time and I've become sort of fond of you, in a way but I have to tell you, there is a lot of big shit coming you're way unless you're careful. Every now and then, the universe gets a bit strange, well, even stranger than usual and believe me, that is really strange. The fabric gets a bit thin and if you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, you can end up anywhere.

If you're lucky it's the next room, if you're unlucky, it could be anywhere in any time. Sometimes, some humans have the ability to break down the barriers of time and space but it's easier when the universe is in wobbly mode, like it is now. Bits of time and space are flaking off all over the place and there's going to be an epidemic of people and things in the wrong place or no place. If it happens to you, you have no control over it, just don't choose to go through any holes'.
'Hawthorn said that today'.
'Shows she's brighter than you then.'
'So is it real'?
'What'?
'The world. What we see, everything in it'.
'Yes and no. I'll tell you about it another day if one of you bastard humans doesn't run me over. Now go and have a shower, you smell of come. Oh and stop smoking'.

That is bizarre. He texted Hawthorn and went off to have a shower.