Hi there, good seeing you the other day. Well, after our
talk, I decided it was time to do something about the stalkers so I took the old
fashioned route, like I did with your father before we moved here.
So I did a recce and drove out of town and found the perfect cul-de-sac which
also had a little extra road linking two driveways that came out further back on
the road. I got my Puma Bowie knife and the old sledgehammer and stuck them on the
passenger seat. It was so easy…
As usual, they were waiting on the other side of the road,
looking particularly pleased with themselves. Smug bastards. I set off really
slowly so they had to stay behind quite a bit then sped up as I got closer to
the cul-de-sac. Whoever they are, they’re not very bright as they just parked
up by the last driveway, turned the engine off and waited.
I just sneaked through the bushes and was already raising
the sledgehammer when I came out. The first thing they knew was when the windscreen
shattered and they screamed but by then I was already smashing the back one.
Then I just slashed the rear tyres, went back through the bush and back in the
car and I was away.
Honestly, they were pathetic, one of them shouting, ‘I’m
blinded, I’m blinded’, I could still hear them as I drove off. I was laughing
my head off all the way to work. Best day I’ve had since the infamous BMW
incident which, according to Lucy, is still talked about locally.
My only worry is that the stalkers look for revenge. Suppose
it depends on what they’re really up to.
Don’t care really but if I disappear you know who to blame.
Speak soon,
Love mum
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